Should I Date While Trying To Win Back My Ex?
Question:
"Sorry for bombarding you with questions! I read in Magic Of Making Up that a little outside dating can help our relationship come back together. However, knowing her, I think this will just make her a little more distant. I also don't have the motivation and interest to date other girls. Is it really important to take this step or can I just skip it?"
The answer:
I know this is not popular advice. It's
so counterintuitive to our logic AND our
emotions (like much of Magic Of Making Up)
when we are so in love with someone else.
We also fear that we will anger our
ex further...or like you stated, make
her more distant.
But when you think about it? The only
reason they could become angry is
because...
because?
THEY STILL CARE!!
Right?
Why would they possibly be upset
if they didn't care?
See? (remember Clue #1?)
No matter what they SAY...
But here is the BIGGEST REASON, not
the only reason, but the biggest reason
why I get so many letters from people
that go out on a few dates and then
"out of the blue" the ex starts pursuing
them.
Here it is...
Because you can SAY you are okay
with the breakup. You can SAY you
are happy and moving on. You can
SAY to your ex that they are going
to lose you forever...
You can SAY ANYTHING until the
cows come home...
But...
When you ACTUALLY go out on a date with
someone else, that ACTION speaks
louder than ANY WORDS YOU CAN SAY.
It S-H-O-W-S your ex that you are moving
on and you may be gone forever.
Even if they seem upset, in fact, ESPECIALLY
when they seem upset...this is the
position you want to maneuver into if you ever
want to get them chasing you.
This is psychological pull...instead of
you pushing.
Make sense?
And one more thing...
Dating someone else changes YOU on the
inside. For too many reasons to list
all of them here, but here are a couple:
*It squelches that 'irrational fear' that
we will end up all alone.
*We temporarily refocus our attention
on someone else other than our ex.
And this is a much healthier position
to come from when trying to attract
anybody...
Yeah?
So, even though I know how tough
it is...please go on a few dates.
It is really good for you and will
speed up your reunion.
Rooting For You,
Get Your Ex Back
Fastest Way To Get Your Ex Back
The Birth Of “How To Get Her Back For Good”...
Should I Date While Trying To Win Back My Ex?